Making the decision to end your marriage is one of the hardest choices a person will ever make. If you are a parent who is considering divorce, your choice is even harder. You not only have to worry about how you and your spouse will manage the split, but also how your children will react to the divorce. Although no one would argue that divorce is challenging for everyone involved, the good news is that a great deal of research has been done about divorce and children. Experts say that there are several things you can do to help your kids deal with your divorce as well actions which you should avoid during this difficult time.

Keep Adult Conversations Away from the Children

If you are like most divorcing individuals, you probably have several points of contention with your soon-to-be-ex-spouse. Understandably, heated arguments with your spouse are bound to happen. Experts say that children overhearing their parents fight can cause them serious emotional and psychological harm. Additionally, experts warn against badmouthing the children’s other parent in front of them as this can make kids feel like they have to choose sides.

Continue the Kids’ Normal Routine as Much as Possible

Children gain a great deal of comfort and reassurance from routines. If you used to get ice cream every Friday after school before the split, experts encourage you to continue this tradition after you have decided to divorce. Keeping school and extracurricular activities the same helps children understand that while many things about their lives are changing, they do not have to worry that everything is changing at once. Furthermore, experts say that it is beneficial for parents to keep household rules like bedtimes and chores consistent during their separation or divorce.

Deciding to end a marriage is already a tremendously difficult decision to make. Financial stressors like an overspending spouse only add to the complications associated with divorce. Unfortunately, divorce can sometimes bring out the worst in people. Some divorcing individuals make extravagant purchases before a divorce is finalized in order to get back at their soon-to-be-ex. Bitter spouses may frivolously spend money simply to keep it out of the final divorce settlement. Others use overspending as a way to cope with the emotional pain of the separation. Whatever the reason, when a spouse makes reckless financial decisions during the breakdown of a marriage, the other spouse deserves to be pardoned from those debts.

Recovering Dissipated or Wasted Assets

If you have recently learned that your soon-to-be-ex-spouse sold a valuable shared asset or spent thousands on a secret paramour, you may still be able to recover these funds. “Dissipation of assets” refers to the wasting of marital property or wealth through excessive spending, gambling, unwarranted borrowing, or fraudulent transference to a third party. A spouse who wastes funds in this way may be required to pay the marital estate back. In extreme cases of dissipation, the non-offending spouse may be given a disproportionately larger share of the remaining assets. Courts also have the authority to rescind transmissions of assets like real estate and stock if the transfer happened with fraudulent intent.

Contact a Wheaton Family Law Attorney for Help

If you are considering divorce while in a challenging financial situation, talking to a qualified divorce attorney can help you understand how to best protect your financial interests. Contact the experienced DuPage County divorce lawyers at Mirabella, Kincaid, Frederick & Mirabella, LLC today by calling 630-665-7300.

If you are a stay-at-home parent on the verge of divorce, your life is likely to change dramatically. The very nature of a stay-at-home mom or dad—as opposed to a parent who works from home—means that he or she relies on his or her spouse to provide financially for the family. In the wake of divorce, a stay-at-home parent could be at a very serious disadvantage. Fortunately, such parents often have a number of options available to help offset some of the financial effects of a divorce, and a seasoned family law attorney can assist you in exploring them all.

Spousal Support

Maintenance—also called alimony—is one of the most common tools that the courts use to help stay-at-home parents following a divorce. According to Illinois law, the court has the authority to order maintenance if either spouse has a legitimate need. The court must consider a number of factors in determining such a need, and your stay-at-home parent status is certainly one of them, but that alone is not necessarily enough to justify an award.

The court must take the entirety of your situation into account, including concerns such as:

Since 2016, the Illinois Marriage and Dissolution of Marriage Act (IMDMA) has included a specific formula for divorce courts to use when calculating how much one spouse must pay to the other in the form of maintenance, also known as spousal support or alimony. The formula is based on each spouse’s annual income and is intended to provide additional support for spouses who earn substantially less than their partners earn. When the formula was created in 2016, it was meant to be applied in situations where the spouses earned less than $250,000 per year combined. Thanks to an update to the law that was passed last year, the formula must now be used in many more situations.

Determining the Need for Maintenance

Maintenance is not automatic in an Illinois divorce. The judge presiding over a particular case must determine if a bona fide need for spousal support exists. In making that determination, the court will consider a number of factors, including each spouse’s age, health, income, and employability, as well as the arrangements that have been made for the couple’s children, if any. The court must also take into account the length of the marriage, the standard of living established, and sacrifices or contributions made by either spouse to the other’s career.

Spousal maintenance, though not presumed to be necessary in Illinois, is often made mandatory by judges looking to ensure that each spouse is able to maintain him- or her-self after a divorce. Several years ago, the process for determining maintenance obligations in Illinois was a lightning rod for controversy, as rulings varied widely depending on the particular county or judge in question. In early 2015, significant changes were made leading to today’s more standardized law. Still, determining or modifying spousal maintenance remains a complex endeavor.

A New Standard

The formula for determining the amount of maintenance changed about two and a half years ago with the passage of an amendment to the Illinois Marriage and Dissolution of Marriage Act (IMDMA). Previously, spousal support had been determined almost entirely by a judge’s discretion, though there was (and still is) a list of factors that judges had to consider while making the determination. The amended law introduced a standardized formula for most situations and urged judges to exercise a narrower breadth of discretion in the cases for which the formula did not apply.