Tips for Illinois Couples Facing Divorce - Cooler Heads Prevail

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“Let cooler heads prevail with these men and women who work for the cause with all their hearts, with cool heads and skilled hands will master every fate” – Gustav Krupp.

Perhaps this German diplomat from the late 19th Century was onto something. In today's parlance, this phrase is known as simply: “don't lose your cool.”

For couples facing divorce, this should become each party's daily mantra, though it's certainly easier said than done. The divorce process is such a powerful, emotional experience that it is often equated to the experience of the death of a loved one. Such an experience could evoke an overload of emotions that come bubbling to the surface. There are ways, however, to ensure that you do not lose your cool and “let cooler heads prevail.”

Step 1: Set Realistic Expectations for Family and Friends

A divorce not only means the final division of assets and property, but also the division of family and possibly friends. It is important to keep in mind that you are likely not the only one experiencing anxiety over the dissolution of your marriage. Therefore, don't feel offended or betrayed if not everyone you know is your personal cheerleader. Be forgiving and take comfort that those standing by your side at the end—and there will be friends and family standing by your side at the end—truly believe in you and love you.

Rely on a Strong Support Network

Your network should include trusted family and friends who you know you can rely on for support. By relying on your network for support or even broadening you network to include others going through a divorce, you will find comfort, relief from stress, insight, and possibly even the opportunity to help someone else going through the same issues you are.

Remember to Grieve

Similar to the death of a loved one, divorce provokes an intense emotional cycle. It is important to embrace each emotion you go through and give the emotions their due; but it is just as important to realize that dwelling on any one emotion will stall the healing process and could lead to additional pain and discomfort. So let it all out—cry, punch a pillow, or let out a scream every now and then. It will feel great to get it all out of your system. But then it's important to move on.

Take Time for Yourself

This could be one of the benefits of finally getting a divorce—having the time and ability to do things for you. This could mean eating at your favorite restaurant or getting a facial or pedicure. Simple luxuries can help put you at ease and feel good about life. Don't overindulge—especially when finances are on the table during a divorce—but do make it a point to treat yourself to something you enjoy every now and then.

Plan Your Future

By accepting that your life path has changed, you may be surprised about the positive outcomes that can follow a divorce. Being optimistic and planning for your new life will also assist in the healing process. Move forward slowly, but concentrate on accomplishments that were not achievable during your marriage. Take a trip, head back to school, sign up for a painting class, or tackle a weekend home improvement project. Starting new hobbies or getting back on track with previous goals not only feels great but also helps the post-divorce recovery process.

Though divorce doesn't have to be a devastating process, often times it leaves individuals feeling emotionally drained, powerless, or confused. Following the tips above and taking any additional steps to help you recover can make the divorce process easier and less painful overall. You can also help save your sanity and “let cooler heads prevail” by hiring one of the compassionate, dedicated family law attorneys at MKFM Law. Our extensive experience with divorce and family law will be put to use making you feel as strong as possible throughout the whole divorce process. We promise to provide you with all the information you'll need, to treat you with respect and compassion, and to proceed with your best interest firmly at the forefront. Contact us today at (630) 665-7300 for an Initial Attorney Meeting and to begin your path to a better future.


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From our law office in Wheaton, IL the family law and civil litigation law attorneys of Mirabella, Kincaid, Frederick and Mirabella, represent businesses and individual clients throughout the western suburbs of Chicago, Illinois including Wheaton, Naperville, Oak Brook, Glen Ellyn, Carol Stream, Lombard, Downers Grove, Burr Ridge, Lisle, Elmhurst, Oakbrook Terrace, Winfield, Woodridge, Warrenville and throughout DuPage, Kane and Kendall Counties.

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In honor of the passing of our founder, Joseph F. Mirabella, Jr., our offices are closed Friday, January 31, 2020.I Agree