4 Things Many Parents Wish Had Been in Their Parenting Plans

 Posted on May 29, 2025 in Family Law

When you are in the middle of a divorce, particularly a contentious one, filled with arguments regarding parenting time and parenting plans, your primary goal is to get through this difficult time so you can put your life back together and move on. While this is perfectly natural, it can lead to decisions being made hastily or without really thinking them through.

Months or years down the road, every time you have to deal with something in your parenting plan that you wish was not there, all you can think is, "If only I had..." While some things must be included in your parenting plan, many others can be fine-tuned to suit your particular situation. Speaking to an experienced St. Charles, IL family law attorney can help you avoid these regrets later on.

What Would Parents Change in Their Parenting Plans If They Had a "Do-Over?"

Things often look very different in hindsight. Most parents who have lived with a parenting plan for years can point precisely to the things they wish they had added, skipped, or thought through a little more thoroughly. Some of these include:

Adding a Right of First Refusal

Plans change, especially for working parents. Jobs have unexpected demands, parents get sick, children get sick, and babysitters get sick and take vacations. If your ex has parenting time when something comes up, but instead of asking you if you would like to keep the children, he sends them to daycare, you may be annoyed that he didn’t ask you first.  

Some parents attach time to the right of first refusal. In other words, if one parent simply has to run a few errands, he or she is not obligated to ask the other parent to keep the children for one or two hours. But if the time is going to be longer, say more than eight hours, then the right of first refusal kicks in.

Setting Expectations for Communications

Positive, productive interactions are the key to effective co-parenting. Establish preferred methods of contact, whether that is phone calls, texts, emails, social media messaging, or a combination. Set clear boundaries on topics and tones and strive to remain focused on child-related issues. Consider using a shared platform for important information, including a shared calendar that keeps both parents up to date regarding medical appointments, school events, extracurricular activities, and other details.

Introducing New Romantic Partners

Depending on your child’s age, introducing someone they may see as taking the place of their other parent can be sensitive, especially soon after the divorce. Even if the divorce was brutal enough to make you think "never again," it is a good idea to have guidelines in place regarding romantic partners and your children.

Whatever procedure you choose, make sure new relationships are introduced gradually and with your child’s best interests always in the forefront. Your parenting plan might state that there are to be no overnights with romantic partners while the children are there until the relationship has stood the test of time and becomes serious.

Clarity for Financial Decisions

There is so much more financial ground to cover with children than just child support. There are always "extra" expenses, many anticipated, some unexpected. School supplies and school clothes can easily run $400-$800 per child. How will these expenses be split? Medical expenses are sometimes expected for routine wellness checks, but are unexpected for an accident or illness.

How will co-pays be paid? Extracurricular activities, while great for the child, cost money. Who will pay? What if one parent does not think the child needs to go to summer camp, needs braces, or really needs all those new clothes for school? Have it in writing before it happens.

 Contact a Kane County, IL Parenting Time Lawyer

Regardless of your situation, more information in your parenting plan is generally preferable to less information. It is beneficial to speak to a St. Charles, IL parenting time attorney from Mirabella, Kincaid, Frederick & Mirabella, LLC to ensure your parenting plan covers as many contingencies as possible. MKFM Law serves family law clients at Kane County, DuPage County, and DeKalb County offices. Call 630-665-7300 to schedule your initial attorney meeting.