Tips to Help Your Children Cope with Divorce
Making the decision to end your marriage is one of the hardest choices a person will ever make. If you are a parent who is considering divorce, your choice is even harder. You not only have to worry about how you and your spouse will manage the split, but also how your children will react to the divorce. Although no one would argue that divorce is challenging for everyone involved, the good news is that a great deal of research has been done about divorce and children. Experts say that there are several things you can do to help your kids deal with your divorce as well actions which you should avoid during this difficult time.
Keep Adult Conversations Away from the Children
If you are like most divorcing individuals, you probably have several points of contention with your soon-to-be-ex-spouse. Understandably, heated arguments with your spouse are bound to happen. Experts say that children overhearing their parents fight can cause them serious emotional and psychological harm. Additionally, experts warn against badmouthing the children’s other parent in front of them as this can make kids feel like they have to choose sides.
Continue the Kids’ Normal Routine as Much as Possible
Children gain a great deal of comfort and reassurance from routines. If you used to get ice cream every Friday after school before the split, experts encourage you to continue this tradition after you have decided to divorce. Keeping school and extracurricular activities the same helps children understand that while many things about their lives are changing, they do not have to worry that everything is changing at once. Furthermore, experts say that it is beneficial for parents to keep household rules like bedtimes and chores consistent during their separation or divorce.
Allow Children to Express Their Emotions
There are countless ways that children express their feeling about divorce. Some kids pretend that nothing is wrong or even outright refuse to discuss the divorce. Others cry or isolate themselves in their room. Still other children ask question after question about the split. Whatever your child’s response, try to let them express themselves in whatever way they need to. Validate their feelings and tell them that it is okay if they are angry, sad, or scared about the divorce. There are also many school, church, and community resources available for children struggling to cope with their parent’s divorce. Allowing your child to speak with a school counselor or other trusted adult about their feelings may go a long way to helping them cope with these difficult emotions.
Contact a DuPage County, Illinois Divorce Lawyer
For help with issues related to divorce, child custody, child support, and more, contact the knowledgeable Wheaton family law attorneys at Mirabella, Kincaid, Frederick & Mirabella, LLC. Call us today at 630-665-7300 to schedule a consultation.