Posted on July 15, 2013 in Main

Trust is the cornerstone of any relationship and without it a relationship has no foundation. A breakdown of trust can be the result of many different situations such as infidelity, addiction, or just outright lying.

Rebuilding trust in a relationship means that changes must be made. Make sure that you and your partner are both clear on the changes that are needed and expected. Set goals that are attainable. Talk about the progress that you are making and check in with your loved one to see how they are feeling about the progress.

Once you have decided to forgive your partner you have to do your part in rebuilding the trust. Do not throw past transgressions in the face of your partner every chance you get. That is not fair to you or your loved one. If you are constantly reminding him or her of what they did wrong and accuse them of doing it again, you are also preventing the restoration of you relationship.

Infidelity does not often have a happy ending. If you find that you simply cannot salvage your marriage and you are considering divorce, contact one of Mirabella, Kincaid, Frederick & Mirabella, LLC's knowledgeable and dedicated attorneys for an Initial Attorney Meeting.

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 Posted on June 27, 2013 in Main

Not long ago, the major tool used to catch a cheating spouse was a private detective who would follow the suspected cheater and try to get photos of the spouse in the act. But today, with all the intelligence technology that has become so inexpensive and available, it's a lot easier to find out exactly what a philandering spouse has been up to.

However, this technology raises some important legal questions. Last year, the United States Supreme Court ruled that law enforcement using a GPS tracking system to monitor someone's movements constitutes a “search”. The court ruled a warrant must be obtained before a tracker can be put on someone's vehicle. The law about GPS tracking by a private individual remains a gray area.

Some states, like California, Minnesota, Texas and Virginia, allow private individuals to put a tracking device on a person's vehicle if that person gives their consent. Where there is no consent, it is considered a misdemeanor that can result in a fine and a jail sentence of 6 to 12 months.

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 Posted on June 05, 2013 in Main

The organization, Unmarried Equality, reports that in 2012 there were 112 million unmarried adults nationwide, representing 47 percent of the country's adult population. Twelve million of those unmarried adults live with a romantic partner. Between 1960 and 2000, the number of unmarried, cohabitating partners has increased substantially, even more dramatically in recent years. Statistics show that between 1990 and 2007, the number of unmarried couples who were living together increased 88 percent.

Many couples who plan on eventually getting married live together first. About 75 percent report they plan on marrying at some point, and about 50 percent of them get married within the first five years of living together. Forty percent of those couples break up within that five year period and ten percent remain unmarried, cohabitating partners.

What happens legally when couples who are living together break up? The Illinois Parentage Act covers all issues relative to children of unmarried parents; however, Illinois doesn't recognize common law marriage, nor does it award palimony. As such, questions such as support and ownership of property, other assets, and debts the couple may have acquired in their time together could pose legal problems.

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 Posted on May 26, 2013 in Main

During a divorce proceeding, resolving the issues of child custody and visitation rights can be very difficult and costly for both the parties and the minor children. With emotional levels high, children are often affected deeply by divorce. According to WebMD, "children of divorce tend to fall behind in their math and social skills and may not catch up with their peers." These educational challenges can often accompany feelings of anxiety, sadness, and low self-esteem. According to the study, published in a 2011 issue of American Sociological Review, "these problems first surfaced when the divorce proceedings began and did not get better or worse after it was finalized."

After a divorce, many spouses feel the need to cut all ties—to begin a new life in a new place where the bad memories of the failed marriage are left behind. Yet moving can often cause anxiety or stress for children. How does relocating after divorce affect kids? According to a publication issued by the Financial Planning Association (FPA), "it is estimated that 17 to 25 percent of custodial parents move out of the area within the first two years after divorce." That means that up to a quarter of children of divorce face a double psychological whammy: how to navigate the sociological implications of divorce while also dealing with losing their school and social world. Nonetheless, according to the FPA, "there does not appear to be any credible evidence on the effects on children moving away with one parent after divorce."

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 Posted on May 24, 2013 in Main

During the initial stages of a divorce, emotional stress levels are high, and the focus is on custody and visitation rights. Thinking about what assets exist or the value of each asset may be the last thing on a person's mind. Yet, if you're thinking about a divorce, it's very important to protect your assets by having knowledge of what assets exist and to financially plan ahead.

To complicate matters, often the income earning spouse attempts to hide assets. It could be that this effort has been ongoing over many years. This occurs because most couples have such complicated and diverse financial portfolios that a few hidden accounts here and there seem not such a big deal – but it really is. While there is nothing illegal about a spouse hiding or otherwise dissipating assets, it can have significant implications in a divorce case. For both parties, it usually means that substantial additional attorney's fees will be incurred on the efforts focused on finding the hidden money. It can also mean additional funds spent on experts such as forensic accountants. Sadly, more money is usually spent on legal fees trying to prove the dissipation of assets then may have actually been dissipation. To add fuel to this problem is the mistrust that divorcing spouses have for each other. In the end, both parties pay the price.

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 Posted on May 15, 2013 in Main

Oilman billionaire Harold Hamm and his wife may be going through the most expensive divorce in history, according to Forbes Magazine. Hamm is worth an estimated $11.3 billion, according to Forbes; his wife, economist Sue Ann Hamm filed for divorce last year and alleged Hamm was having an affair. The newswires pointed out that if the couple had not entered into a prenuptial agreement, Sue Ann would be eligible for a 68 percent stake in Harold's fortune. This would mean, "in essence, the entirely self-made oilman could lose control over the company he founded in 1967," according to Forbes. The Hamm's' reside in Oklahoma, and Oklahoma state law allows for "equitable distribution," meaning that a state court will decide what is fair and equitable under the circumstances of a case. (Illinois also applies an equitable distribution scheme in the division and allocation of the marital assets and debts).

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 Posted on December 00, 0000 in Main

In Illinois, with few exceptions, marital property is considered anything acquired by the parties during the marriage. This includes, but is not limited to, the family home and additional real estate.

With the troubled housing market in the United States over the last few years, many divorcing couples found themselves in an awkward situation. With little or no equity and no buyers, many divorcing spouses could not sell their marital home and split the profits, but were instead forced to stay together in the home waiting for the market to turn around. While divorcing spouses use to litigate over the equitable division of the proceeds, many now owe more than the property is worth, and so it is debt being divided not proceeds. Besides forcing some divorcing parties to remain physically in the house, even after the divorce, this situation often leads to foreclosures and short sales, which causes even more stress and hardship to an already difficult situation.

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 Posted on December 00, 0000 in Main

Most people are aware that maintaining a happy marriage is hard work. However, most people are unaware that despite all of that effort, the words they use may be working directly against those efforts. It turns out that certain words increase your chances of a divorce. Listen to the words that you are using, you might be surprised by what you are saying and where you are headed.

When couples use the words "Never" and "Always" it represents an all or nothing posture. These words establish a situation that promotes the attitude of a lack of comprise and kindness.

The word "but" when used implies a lack of integrity and manipulation. When a spouse uses this word in an argument or discussion he or she is negating what was previously said that might have been positive, undermining his or her ability to build trust and intimacy.

Swear words and other negative based words represent an attack, and a lack of respect and positive feelings towards your partner. Using these words regularly is a strong indication you're headed for a divorce. If the "D" word (divorce) is also being thrown around, the possibility of an end to the marriage is closer than you may think.

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 Posted on December 00, 0000 in Main

If you are in the midst of a divorce and your spouse is asking for alimony, you may be curious as to how the amount that will be allocated is determined. Alimony, also known as spousal support, is a financial award that one spouse will pay to the other spouse while he or she becomes accustomed to supporting themselves.

At the present, there is no specific formula that exists to determine how much, if any, support will be awarded. However, several factors are considered, such as, the income

and property of each party; the needs of each party; the present and future earning capacity of each party; any impairment to the earning capacity of the party seeking maintenance due to that party devoting time to domestic duties or having forgone or delayed education, training, employment, or career opportunities due to the marriage; the time necessary to enable the party seeking maintenance to acquire appropriate education, training, and employment, and whether that party is able to support himself or herself through appropriate employment or is the custodian of a child making it appropriate that the custodian not seek employment; the standard of living established during the marriage; the duration of the marriage; the age and the physical and emotional condition of both parties; the tax consequences of the property division upon the respective economic circumstances of the parties; contributions and services by the party seeking maintenance to the education, training, career or career potential, or license of the other spouse; any valid agreement of the parties; and any other factor that the court finds to be just and equitable.

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 Posted on December 00, 0000 in Main

Verbal abuse, sometimes called emotional or psychological abuse, can take many different forms. Blaming, accusing, name calling, disparaging, yelling and belittling are all forms of verbal abuse. This form of abuse often causes serious emotional pain and mental anguish. The recipient of verbal abuse ends up constantly defending and explaining him or herself to the abuser—an exhausting cycle of back-and-forth contention between the parties that can break a person's spirit nearly beyond repair.

Unfortunately, verbal abuse can be a frequent occurrence in many relationships. In couples, a verbal abuser often views his or her partner's “separateness,” i.e. that person's independent thoughts, views, desires, feelings, and expressions, as an irritation or even an attack on the abuser. There are many theories as to the cause of verbal abuse, including the notion that an abuser may have low self-esteem and so, through verbal abuse, the abuser helps to bring the victim down to that same level.

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